Dear Demi,

A Love Letter from a Former Deadbeat

I’ve been wrong, Demi. Dead fuckin’ wrong. About you. All about you. And I am sorry.

Why didn’t I see earlier the radical f*ck you rule breaker Glorious Broad that you are — that you’ve always been — giving it out consistently to the Hollywood shit heads who’ve brought you to the silver screen.

Why?

Maybe it’s because I’m a generation up — and never gave a rat’s ass about your Brat Pack — your St. Elmo’s Fire. Much less the St. Elmo’s Fire reunion.

Except for Ghost. Sigh…

And that Vanity Fair cover.

And Ashton Kutcher. Double sigh.

I just didn’t get it.

And — no offense — you were god awful in The Feud. But so were the rest of the broads with the deep exception of — Naomi!

Now, It’s against Glorious Broads policy to talk about “work” done — but — I didn’t recognize you. I’ll quote Kathleen Turner here in one of my GB interviews: “When someone says to me — and they do — you don’t look like you did thirty years ago — I always like to say: NEITHER DO YOU. So it’s a real fuck you going on for me — FUCK YOU.”

So fuck me for the comment above! And I think you’ve been doing a take on Kathleen Turner this whole time. DUH!

I look back with a sense of enlightenment now — a sense of conversion — to all things Demi.

The awakening?

THE SUBSTANCE

I am not giving yet another rave review about this BONKERS movie.

All I can say is — I went alone and found myself clutching the 22-year-old person next to me — and they were clutching back — squirming with delight and horror. Every step of the way. Frankenstein for chicks …

Watching you truly give a FUCK YOU performance to all the showbiz pigs out there — personalized by the head horn toad, Harvey (get it?) played creepily, perfectly, by Dennis Quaid.

To watch you let them crawl up — even your — sagging butt in those shots — the irony of it all. How the joke was — not on you, Demi — it was squarely on them.

As I said, it’s hard not to critique The Substance. But I will make comments on two different female writers I adore. Their point of views — and mine — as a 70-something-year-old broad — now fan — who’s seen the light:

This line from Emily Gould’s THE CUT:

“Certainly, our culture’s sexism and obsession with beauty makes women desperate for solutions. But … this desperate?”

YES, EMILY. THIS DESPERATE.

“But pushing that cultural dictate to its most outlandish extremes seems, ultimately, superfluous, when the truth is already horrific enough.”

WHOA!!! EMILY!

I totally agreed with 50-something

MUTHR, FCKD

rant about Emily’s thought process and your starring part, Demi …

“The casting of Moore in this role only further underlines the audacity of her character’s circumstance. The moral of the story is that aging isn’t horrific at all, but buying into male-perpetuated gendered ageism as a weaponized societal tool that robs us of our livelihoods, is.”

THAT’S RIGHT BABY!

Demi. You are on your way. Crossing the threshold — getting over the hump that needs the “male gaze.” I see it.

An 85-year-old pal said this to me on my 73^rd birthday: “You are in the baby years of OLD OLD.”

I loved that.

And I can tell you, Demi — there is FREEDOM to the FADE at this stage of life.

Trust me.

It was a shock to turn 70. I wasn’t afraid of it. Mostly. But there was a shift. The visual journal of hitting 80s? 90s? Nothing to be horrified about … it just takes the jump.

But you know all that. You just snickered your way through this campy, freakish, anti-ageist epic movie — directed by a woman of course.

I hope she became a bestie.

So now, Demi, I want to tell you how courageous you’ve been.

And how wrong I’ve been to under appreciate you. In fact, ignore you.

Some of what you’ve been through:

* Slut shamed for the very very naked very very pregnant Annie Leibovitz cover

* Body shamed for peeling it all off in Striptease

* Body shamed for bulking it all up in GI Jane

* Reprimanded for knowing your worth — raising the bar — for ALL women I might say

* Vanishing back to Idaho

And making a steamy cheesy erotic podcast Dirty Diana I loved to hate.
Sex and desire in the FEMALE gaze. And you do it from your bathroom.

And then, you come back to rule!

With your naked flawed ass in all of our faces.

So what you and your tits look like 40 — and not like 60?!

You certainly didn’t channel Emma Thompson in that scene.

You channeled Demi.

So thank you for your service, Demi.

I was blind. But now I see.

Your fan,
Maryjane

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Speaking of so NOT Emma Thompson …

This friggin’ J. Crew Fall Catalogue everyone’s been buzzing about …

Of course, my girl’s on the cover. I get Demi is of the moment — AND — does represent “diversity” — but do any of the models inside? Not much … This is what is pissing me off about the coverage on this. There is no one here bigger than a size 4. And I count four people of color — maybe five? Subtle color. And one silver model who looks 40. In a 71 page catalogue.

Now — are they on brand? Absolutely.

Is that a good thing? Mama says NO.